Baby Pictorial

This is a late blog. The pictorial was last October 15, 2013. Our photographer was VJ Matias of  Virtuoso (He was our prenup photographer too). He is not really the photographer of their group, he is the videographer. And their forte is wedding. But since he is our friend and he really love to try to have a photo shoot with babies (he is a soon to be a dad), we all agreed to have the pictorial.

Phil and I looked for possible concepts and I did the props. We even bought a basket and a new pashmina. It was a great session. It was not rainy (we did indoor since Pipay was less than 2 months) so the lighting from the big glass window at the department of computer science faculty lounge (It was holiday and do not have any better venue) was perfect. VJ was great. He loves kids so he was all cute, kind and patient to Pipay. 

All in all, we had 5 scenes. And the whole photo shoot took us about 3 or 4 hours. The hardest part was making Pipay smile, and when we need her sleeping, she was wide awake. But  The results are all awesome.

Here are some of the awesome pictures of Pipay. :)

Poop Talk

I didn't expect that baby poop could tell a lot. That the frequency, texture and color of my baby's stool is every important. I didn't expect that I would smell, look very very closely, count and even touch her poops.

The first thing a mother should know is that the stool of a breastfed baby and the stool of a formula-fed baby are different. They differ in appearance/texture, and in the number of times in a day. I breastfeed my little girl, so I can only speak/write for breastfed babies. However, I am a new mother and just starting on my journey, so my experience is too little, however, I read a lot because I want to be sure on what I do.

I found a nice gallery of baby poops here, I always check that to compare my baby's poop.

Baby poops are explosive. You could actually hear when she poops. It was like a mini bomb explosion. And actually, if she is not wearing diapers (I seldom use commercial diaper, I either use lampin or cloth diapers with liner), pieces would scatter.

The smell is not as bad as adult's. It is like milk gone bad. A little sweet but more sour smelling milk.

I noticed that there are times that my baby seems like she is having a hard time pooping, it was as if she is exerting force to push something out and sometimes she'll cry. I thought at first that she is constipated. However, when she finally poops, the texture is soft and watery and therefore not constipated. So, I don't know why she can't just push it out or maybe that pushing doesn't mean she wants to poop (a lot more to learn!)

I also noticed that sometimes there are yellowish liquid (poop-like but too little) that comes out when she fart. According to what I read, it is not considered as a stool (so don't include it on your counting) and it happens because her stool is watery and comes out easily.

I learn in a forum (a mother said this is according to her Pedia) you can induce pooping by stimulating your baby's anus with a wet soft cloth or cotton. I haven't tried that though.

Oh and I also learned from reliable internet websites (like Baby Center & Mayo Clinic), blogs from breastfeeding mothers and forums that a breastfed baby can poop as much as every after feeding or could be none for a month (that's the longest I read in a forum for Pinay Breastfeeding Nanay). So I know that I should not worry that much. But I also already know that mothers worry about almost everything even when we know there is nothing to worry about. But still, if you are not sure and you are so worried, go visit your pedia.

Here are some of the pictures of my baby's stool and they are NORMAL for breastfed babies.

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Milk Supply and Pumping

I wish there is a gauge or a digital display of how much milk a lactating mother has. I wish there is a more concrete way to tell whether your child is getting enough milk. Well there is none like that available in any market. The only way is via the child's growth.

I tried pumping around 2 weeks postpartum, and only a few drops were expressed. So when I pumped again a few days after and was able to get more than 1 oz, I was really happy. Here is the souvenir photo :)

To increase my milk supply, we always have fresh malunggay leaves on our soup. Plus, Phil bought a malunggay juice.

I am happy with my milk supply, since there is nothing wrong with my baby's growth and since she looks contented after feeding.

However, I still have issues with pumping. I pump less than 1oz from both boobs and around 2 oz when doing it while she is feeding on one boob. So I think I have a problem with milk let down. I am still researching on this but according to some online sources, it could be because of stress, sleep deprivation, or because I am not relaxing. Anyways, I'll post again once I know what to do. :)

Start of My Breastfeeding Journey

I decided to exclusively breastfeed my first born. The first week up to the first month was super hard for me and I guess for my baby too. The past 6 weeks and 4 days was a roller coaster of emotion. At first I thought I was not producing milk, but knowing that her tummy is still so small comforted me. She doesn't need so much yet, in fact according to my OB (thankfully, we had a breastfeeding seminar with her when I was pregnant) babies can survive up to 2 weeks without any food intake after birth and that her stomach is smaller than a grapefruit. 

Below is the estimated size of a baby's tummy.

Breast feeding is a skill that both mother and baby have to learn. I want my baby and I to be the best breastfeeding partner, so I always seek answers for whatever problem we have on our breastfeeding journey.

The key to a successful breastfeeding is a good latch. However, since day 1, we are already having problems with latching. I really don't know what the problem is. May be my nipple is too big for her mouth, or she just really don't know how, my position is wrong, or her position is wrong. At some point there's this feeling that you are producing too little. And sometimes, I think my milk let down is too much for her to handle. Worst, maybe she doesn't want me, my breast, my smell or my sound. So I am always happy when she latches right away when I offer my breast.

According to the books and other online sources, the proper position is a key to a proper latch. So here are some of the breastfeeding positions. (pic source)

I still don't know what is wrong with me and my baby. She can't latch. Latching had been always difficult at the start of every feeding session. Our routine? She'll cry then I'll calm her down then we will try to latch again. It will usually take us more than 10 tries before she can finally latch properly. Sometimes, after a successful latch, my nipple will just slip out of her mouth and then she'll cry again. It was a struggle and I don't know what's wrong.

I came across Lip Tie and Tongue Tie as possible reason for not properly latching. There's a lot of good resources online, here are some of the symptoms:

I immediately checked Pipay's mouth. Her tongue seems Ok. I followed the instructions here to check for tongue tied. I looked for pictures and examples online, and I thought her upper lip is tied. The picture below is  from a mother's blog about daughter's upper lip tie (upper left photo) and their decisions to have it corrected.

Below is my daughter's upper lip and gums. It really looked like a lip tie. So I told my husband, and we researched about it. We learned that it could be operated and that the process is quick and could be done as early as infancy. If not treated it could make breastfeeding difficult (not for some), or there could be speech and dental care problems in the future. 

It was heart breaking knowing that your very young child would undergo an operation. We have to make sure, so we have to consult her pedia first. I told my mother too. And when she checked, she said she think it is normal and that she will check my nephew's mouth too. She texted me, Jared's lip and gums look the same.

I asked our pedia (her first pedia) and she said, that is not lip tie. Whew! We are no longer worried and we decided that my baby was just 'Maarte' when breastfeeding. I also asked the new pedia, she did not check it but she told me that lip tie will not affect breastfeeding.

Difficulty latching is very frustrating. However, it could not mean that something is wrong with me or my boobs, there is nothing wrong with my baby too. I would like to attribute it to he process of learning. I am learning. My child is learning. And we are getting better everyday.

Baby Blues and Postpartum Depression

I am a new mother, and being new to a lot of things is really scaring me to the bone.

When I was pregnant, I read a lot of stuff. And I read Postpartum Depression (PPD). After reading stuff about it, I asked myself, "Am I at risk of having this? Will I be that depressed and hurt myself or my baby?", then I told myself, "Ahh hindi naman siguro. I think my personality is strong enough to have postpartum depression." Well, true enough, I did not experience PPD (Yey for me!). However, I did experience some baby blues and to be honest, at some point it scared me so much because I was so afraid what I feel would develop into PPD.

So what is Baby Blues and PPD?

Postpartum Depression or PPD is a clinical depression which can affect women (and men too!) after childbirth. While Baby Blues is a lighter depression that could develop into a more severe, long-lasting form of depression known as PPD.

Baby Blues or being moody, weepy and irritable after giving birth is so common (about 8 out of 10 mothers) that they are already considered normal. Below are some of the things that you may feel:

• Worried about your baby's health, even though he's fine
• Anxious
• Unable to concentrate
• Tired, yet unable to sleep
• Crying, without knowing why
• Mood swings
• Sadness
• Irritability

PPD may appear as Baby Blues at first, but it would be more intense and longer lasting that it will affect your ability to care for your baby and to handle other daily tasks. And if untreated, it may last for months or longer. Below are some of the symptoms:

• Loss of appetite
• Insomnia
• Intense irritability and anger
• Overwhelming fatigue
• Loss of interest in sex
• Lack of joy in life
• Feeling of shame, guilt or inadequacy
• Severe mood swings
• Difficulty bonding with your baby
• Withdrawal from family and friends
• Thoughts of harming yourself or your baby

Here are some of the possible causes of depression:

• Physical Changes: After giving birth, your body changes rapidly. There is a dramatic drop in your hormone level that may contribute to depression. Other hormones may also drop sharply which will make you feel tired, sluggish and depressed. Changes in blood volume, blood pressure, the immune system and metabolism can also contribute to fatigue and mood swings. Plus the changes in your breast as your milk comes in.
• Emotional Factor:  New responsibilities can feel overwhelming. Your transition to motherhood and adjusting to new routines. You may feel anxious about your baby's well being. You may feel less attractive or struggle with your sense of identity. You may feel that you've lost control over your life. Any of these could contribute to depression.
• Lifestyle Influences: Many lifestyle factors can lead to depression, including a demanding family member, difficulty breastfeeding, financial problems, lack of support from your partner and other loved ones.

Baby Blues goes away on its own so no treatment is necessary. Reassurance, support and rest is what you need. Sleep deprivation can make it worse, so sleep when your baby sleep. However, help is very much needed if it is already PPD.

My Experience

Mine has been just the baby blues. And I would like to blame being sleep deprived as the major factor or the trigger of all the drama.

Before giving birth I already had difficulty sleeping, and when I was at the hospital I barely sleep. I was tired from giving birth, and I feel weak. Since my baby and I stayed in the same room, I had to wake up to check her out, to feed her or because we have visitors. And it was worse when we came home. There's a lot to think about. There's a lot to worry about. There is a never ending worried feeling for my child. I even question myself if I can make it. Yes, the questions. I asked a lot. Am I going to be a good mother? Is she feeling good? Am I producing enough milk? Can I still do the things I do back when I was not yet a mother? and more questions, some are unreasonable, some unanswerable, some are just stupid questions. Aside from those questions, I also felt sad because I miss a lot of stuff. I miss being pregnant (duhuh!), I miss going to the dept almost everyday, I miss drinking softdrinks (patakas na lately and in moderation pa rin), I miss sleeping the whole night, I miss cuddling with my husband, I miss being able to go anywhere.

The result? Almost everyday of tears. I cry when I am alone with just me and baby. I cry when I see Phil. I cry when I remember stuff. I cry when we talk about certain things. I cry.

I was so afraid of the sadness. I was so afraid that by being sad and teary, I am not being a good mother. I was afraid I am having PPD. So I did the bravest thing I can do during those time, I told Phil. Everytime I have the urge to cry, I tell him. He knows almost all my crying episodes. His reaction? He laughed at me. The Phil laugh that would either make you mad or make you laugh too. Well, I'll end up laughing at myself too. But of course, he'll hug and kiss me too, he'll say something to make me feel better. Phil is the medicine for my baby blues. My drama episodes ended, and I am more confident as a mother now. :)

References:
Mayo Clinic
Baby Center

Pedia Contact

Here are the contact details of our Pedia.

Liza Vinluan-Santos, M.D.
Pediatrician
Fellow, Phil Pediatric Society

Cellphone No: 0918 904 6881 / 0922 419 2934

Philippine Children's Medical Center
Q. Ave, QC
Tel. Nos: 9246601 to 25 local 274
Room 7
Mon - Sat 11am-2pm

Hospital Affiliation:
Capitol Medical Center
Children's Medical Center

1st month Celeb and Pictorial

Last Tuesday was Purple Raine's 1st month. We went to the dept to celebrate it with friends and to meet Richard Eaton who looks like Jack Bauer of the TV series 24.

We want Pipay to have a new born pictorial, but the package at the Picture Company was expensive, while the packages in Pic-A-Boo are not so good since they don't provide a high resolution copy. So we took her pictures ourselves instead. We bought a pink hairband and browsed the internet for ideas.

However, our Pipay was awake during the pictorial. So she was makulit, malikot and iiyak iyak. Eniwez, here are some of the results of our amateur photo session with our angel.

First Week

I thought having a nice maternal instinct would be enough once you are a real mother. I thought things would just fall into their right places. That answers, solutions and know hows would just come out of nowhere. That things would be kinda easy and smooth sailing.

In the hospital, the first night was a little ok. I thought I'd be able to sleep the night away but since my baby will no longer stay in the nursery and would be in the room with us, I had to wake up a few times to breast feed her. But since I am still tired and a little sedated, it was nanay who did most of the taking care of baby. Sunday came, and as much as I want to sleep when Pipay sleeps, I was not able to because of the visitors and the nurses and doctors checks my BP and my temp and baby's temp too.

Sunday night was just me and Phil. It was our first night with just the 3 of us. There was a lot of crying. And sometimes we don't know what's wrong.  I started to think that maybe I don't have milk. And well, confidence level dropped big-time. We survived. Tired yet happy and excited to go home with new family member.

First night at home was not as ok as the nights in the hospital. She was set to sleep in her crib but she kept on crying and sometimes I don't know why.  Nanay, kept baby beside her and she stopped crying. I didn't sleep well since I kept on checking on her. Also, sometimes she can't latch properly on my breast. I was convinced that my breasts are not producing milk

The following day, I was paranoid. She didn't poop, and this was the 2nd day. She slept all day. She cried a lot and sleep a lot. Phil went to work but nanay was there to help me. I was a little happy that when I tried to express milk by hand, there was a little drop of milk. Confidence went one level up and I felt really happy.

After 2 days of no poop, she finally pooped. It was dark green (meconium) similar to the ones she pooped when we were in the hospital. Then after that her poops are yellow liquid. Which made me worry again. Is it diarrhea? What did I eat that caused her to poop to be like that?

More than once, in our first week, I wanted to bring her to the hospital to be checked or to text/call her pedia for opinion. Million of times I visited google and read, watched and listened to a lot of things, to at least feel a little better.

When her poop was Ok (the same as the ones posted in many mother-and-newborn-friendly websites), I felt a little better.

Lack of sleep, worries and more. I have experienced baby blues. I know I have to tell Phil whenever I feel sad or if I just wanted to cry. I need him for support. And thankfully, he was just what I needed.

Well, let's just say that I have a lot to learn, a lot to do and a lot to enjoy.

Purple Raine: Pedia Info

Will update this every now and then. :)

Here are some important stuff  (immunization, tests, etc.) to remember:

• New Born Screening: Aug. 25, 2013
• Hearing Test: Aug. 25, 2013 (R & L invalid)

• BCG: Aug 24, 2013
• Hep B: Aug. 14, 2013, Sept. 30, 2013

Hello Purple Raine Sale Zuniga!

I saw her in ultrasound images. I even saw her move during the 3D/4D ultrasound. And I finally saw her right after she greeted the world, but I was not able to remember her face (maybe because of the sedative and tiredness) so the moment I saw her when I was fully conscious was really magical and full of emotion.

When I saw her face, I felt like crying (have to stop myself, nakakahiya naman e). This is the baby I cared and love for around 9 months. The baby who slowed me down and gave me different emotions and experiences. The baby whom I vow to protect and love.

Our first born, our first child, our first angel. Phil and I are really happy to see you baby Purple Raine!

Here is some information about our baby.

• Date of Delivery: August 24, 2013
• Time of Delivery: 2:40 PM
• Type of Delivery: Normal Spontaneous Delivery (NSD)
• Birth Weight: 6 lbs 11oz (3033 g)
• Birth Length: 52 cm
• Head Circumference: 33 cm

Below are some of my angel's pictures right after her delivery.




Below is one of our first pictures as a family.

The Real Thing: Labor

They said, I'll know it when it's time. That I'll be able to distinguish the pain and know that labor is coming or has already started. That I'll know I have to be in the hospital soon. That the pain would be the most I'll experience.

Well, they are right.

Saturday, August 24, 2013:

I was in bed beside my husband when I feel some weird pain in my loins. The pain woke me up, but I thought it was a dream since after it, I fell asleep right away. But after sometime, it will happen again... Pain, woke up, back to sleep. So when I saw in our terrace  that it already morning, maybe around 5am, I just waited for the pain to come back. When it did, I thought baka naiihi lang ako. I went to the bathroom and saw blood on my underwear, same as last time when I was at 2cm. I grab my phone and lay beside Phil again. I waited for the pain again and marked the time interval between each pain.  He woke up (not sure if he went to the bathroom) and ask me 'may masakit sayo?' and I answered 'Wala, Ok lang ako' (since I'm not sure what is happening). Dr. Joy told me that when I counted 6 contractions within an hour, I have to go back to the hospital already. But I don't know how a contraction actually feels. She said, I'll be able to tell. And I know, that the 'pains' are already contractions. After an hour, I counted 7 contractions with 8-15 minute interval. I quickly brewed his coffee and heated 2 Bibingkinitans for him (I should not eat or drink anything when I know I'll go to the hospital) then I took a shower. I prepared his medicines, then packed some more stuff to our hospital bag. I am ready to go, but I have to wake Phil up first.

I went to our bed, kissed him around his face like I always do and slowly blow on his ears. He asked me what time it is, I said 7:30 (but it was just 7:20 when I checked the clock after). He said '30 minutes pa.' So I told him na, 'Kailangan na ata nating bumalik sa hospital'. Then I told him, masakit sa puson and that I've been counting intervals.

He had his breakfast and took a bath. While I was texting my OB telling her that I have contractions and asking her if I should go straight to the labor room or wait for her clinic to open at 9am. She said, since the interval is 8-15 minutes pa, I can still wait for her in the clinic so she'll be the one to check me. She said she'll just finish her lecture to her students.

At around 8:15am, we were outside her clinic already. I was still counting contractions. And when the pain struck, I was like 'pusang hindi mapakali'. I want to keep moving on my seat to find a comfortable position, but nothing helps. Between contractions I was able to smile and joke with Phil. We took pictures too. Our last pictures as 'just the two of us' and last pictures of baby in my tummy.

Doc Joy arrived at around 9:30, and she even joked that since I can still smile, matagal pa ako. Esmie, her assistant, measured my blood pressure and weight. I weigh 178 pounds (I was at 169 pounds during our very first checkup last January). While my blood pressure was a bit high at 120/90 (My bp is usually at 110/80).

They asked me to remove my pants and underwear for the IE (internal exam). Doc Joy said my cervical dilation is at 5cm and that I can be admitted already. She even told me that the head of my baby is lower now as compared to last week's position. She asked us what pain relief medication we prefer, and we chose Twilight over the painless Epidural. She gave me instructions and joked that I should kiss and hug Phil before I go in, because I won't be out until after the baby is born.

We went to the entrance of the labor room, we kissed and hugged and said I love you. Then I went in.

I gave the admitting form to the nurse, told them I'm at 5cm and was escorted to a room. They checked my contraction, counted the interval, took my blood pressure, and did an IE. Since I was interviewed by the OBs there already (when we had a false alarm) they did not interview me anymore, but the pediatric section doctor did some interview.

They gave me Fleet Enema as a suppository, and the nurse (not sure if she's a nurse) shaved my pubic hair (Huh! The contraction covered the embarrassment!). She asked me if I have a camera, I just told her to ask my husband.

I was transferred to the Labor room, where there is a belt-like apparatus (similar to the ones they use for BPS) that monitors the baby.  They attached the Dextrose to my right arm. Then they asked me to drink 1.5 tablets of a certain medicine that has a sedative effect. Dr. Pia, gave me a pin that I have to press every time the baby moves. There was a time that the baby fell asleep, so Dr. Pia ring a bell and even played Katy Perry's 'Last Friday Night' to wake her up. Then, I fell asleep.

From there, everything was a blur. I'm not sure of the sequence of events. I am not aware of the time. But well, here are some episodes that I can remember...

• I woke up and just said repeatedly 'Ang sakit'. The pain from the contraction is much much more intense.
• I heard 2 male voices. One of them lifted me from the bed in the labor room to a stretcher. I opened my eyes and saw the delivery room. I can only remember that there is bed, big spotlights, an oxygen tank and some curtains. The guy lifted me to the small bed in the delivery room.
• I keep on saying 'masakit', and I heard Dr. Pia said 'Sandali na lang' or sometimes, 'Wait lang'.
• I heard someone asked where Dr. Kayaban (Joy) is. Someone answered, 'Kumakain pa.' It was again asked, and someone answered 'Nagbibihis na.'
• I remember trying to lie on my side.
• I told them, 'naiihi na ako'. They lifted me and put a cold thing (a bed pan?) under my hips. Nothing comes out. I said it again after a few minutes, they did nothing. I remember the long flow of water from me to the bed, 2 times. I guess that's my water breaking.
• I remember them holding my feet, I was a bit malikot due to pain.
• Someone attached an oxygen supply on my nose.
• I heard Dr. Joy said that I should wait for her to say push to do my first push.
• Dr. Joy said I should push as if 'natatae'.
• Someone injected something on my right arm.
• Dr. Joy said, 'RA, push'.
• Dr. Joy said, I can hold on my knees when I push (instead of some handle).
• I remember about 4 or 5 pushes.
• Dr. Joy told me to push without sound. I was making an 'eeeeeee' sound.
• I remember pushing without them telling me to push. And pushing without sound.
• I remember that push that finally delivered my baby. I know it was her. I felt so happy. Then I heard her cry. Then a few lighter pains and I know I delivered my placenta already. I remember them putting my baby on my chest. I opened my eyes, saw her, but for some weird reason, I cannot touch her, my arms are so heavy.
• I remember being carried in a stretcher again.
• I remember waking up, asked the nurse what time it is, she said 5 something.
• I keep on sleeping. And will wake up when someone checked my BP or put a pressure on my stomach.
• I remember someone putting pressure on my stomach and checking my BP.
• Someone removed something in my vaginal area (maybe a catheter), she instructed me to to take a deep breath.
• Someone removed something in my right arm and instructed me to take a deep breath.
• Someone is lying on another stretcher beside me. A female, and I wondered if she gave birth as well.
• Someone said, Dr. Joy will check with me first before they release me.
• A guy pushed the stretcher to a lobby, and I read the sign 'Recovery Room' from the door where we came from.
• Someone checked my VP. Dr. Pia called Dr. Joy and told her my BP was stable and that I am awake.
• I heard Phil's voice asking when I'll be released.
• They carted the stretcher to the door. I saw Phil and felt so happy, I really wanted to cry there and then. I want to kiss and hug him tight, but I was not able to. He kissed my head though. I saw Ada and ate Grace too!

Moments after I was trasferred to our room (nanay was there), a nurse asked if she could bring the baby to our room already, we said yes. We really really loved to see our angel.

(link to my blog: Hello Purple Raine Sale Zuniga!)

We stayed until Monday morning. Kizy, Casey, Phil's parents and siblings, Kuya Leng, the Cariagas visited us. :)

And our total bill reached Php 56,000.00.